Quality Over Quantity

We have all heard the cliche “life is a roller coaster”. This past year I haven’t heard anything truer.

I have had some amazing high points: graduating, getting married, moving to a new state, and really learning how to be an actual adult.

But what goes up, must come down.

I’ve also experienced some severe low points. I have realized who my true friends are, I have learned what happens when you don’t practice proper self-care, I have been forced to be an actual adult, I lost my beloved Gramma, and I have felt lonelier at some points this past year than I have in much of my life.

At the beginning of this mini-series, I explained how I wanted to explore so many aspects of my life to learn how to love myself. While this may sound like a lot to conquer, I am one of those people who is all or nothing. I appreciate this about my personality but it can have its drawbacks.

I am definitely one of those people who take on too much too fast and gets burned out very quickly. I think that is one of my biggest problems when it came to my “dieting” in the past. I want to build something perfect overnight, and Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Okay, I’m done with the cliches, I promise 🙂

As I began my “new lifestyle” and all of the things I wanted to combat and change in my life, I really sat down to think about the people I had in my life. I am so blessed to have the people I do around me. I have never been the person to have a ton of friends (as mentioned in a previous post I am super shy around new people), but when it comes to friends I truly believe it’s quality, not quantity.

When I decided to start the weight loss portion of my healthier and happier lifestyle, I turned to my husband who does his fair share of research on any topic he finds interesting. One of those things happened to be intermittent fasting. While this post isn’t going to get into the nitty-gritty of fasting and dieting and all of that (it will most likely be discussed in a later post), I’ll explain it in the simplest terms. Intermittent fasting is a fasting period followed by an eating period. For instance, 16 hours of fasting followed by 8 hours of an eating window. There are a lot of benefits to this, but as I mentioned I won’t get into all of that now.

I was so against it in the beginning. I swore it wasn’t going to be right for my body. I wanted to do an hour of moderate intensity cardio every day and cut my calories to the minimum to survive. Eat what I want, when I want, as long as it fits into my calories and I worked out for an hour every day. I had done it before but got extremely bored of it and gained all the weight back (plus some).

He told me to try it his way for two weeks, if I wasn’t feeling any better, then I could do it my way and he wouldn’t stop me.

Fine. Two weeks and I can have it my way.

My husband taught me how to do a HEALTHY calorie deficit, work out an appropriate amount, get the most out of my workouts in the shortest amount of time, and overall ease myself into what I am trying to accomplish instead of going in head first and getting burned out a week in.

Well, two weeks later, and he was right. As much as I hate to admit it, he was absolutely right. I am not losing weight at a ridiculous rate, but it is at a rate that is still great for only adapting for the past two weeks.

But more than anything, he is always there to support me. He is the largest beam in my support system. He is here for the bad days, the good days, and everything in between. He gives me motivation not to quit but lets me know it’s okay not to be perfect 100% of the time. He is patient with me during my setbacks, and proud of me when I reach a goal. I can’t thank him enough for going through this journey with me and standing by my side no matter what.

And while he is so important and I talk about him more than anyone else (partially because he is most of the main content behind this blog), I can’t forget to mention the friends that I haven’t lost after I moved. While nothing feels worse than realizing who is not a true friend, nothing is more precious than realizing the one who is. One of my best friends from home has been just as great a support system for me. She helps me with my girly issues that my husband can’t begin to understand. She lets me vent about anything and everything while complaining along with me and egging me on to get it all out of my system. We laugh together, we cry together, and even from states apart I know I can rely on her to be by my side through anything. And while I have many friends back home who keep in touch once or twice a month who I still love and appreciate immensely, there are a lot of friends I made before I moved here that I cannot say any of that for.

My last great support system is my Mom. She and I have always had an “us against the World” mentality, because for much of my young life that was true. Once I got older we both relied on each other for support and gave each other a shoulder to cry on or a companion to watch movies and eat popcorn with. She taught me so much about myself and always supported me through everything I did (even if some of those things weren’t the best ideas).

I have come to realize now that it is not about the number of followers you have on Instagram, friends on Facebook, or text messages to reply to throughout the day, but it is the quality relationships with those that you do have. I always felt down on myself for not having a ton of friends and feeling less popular than a lot of my other friends, and truthfully, it’s something I still sometimes feel myself sinking into to this day. But I have to remember that with God, my husband, my close family, and the friends I have, I am truly blessed with all of the friendship and support I need.

Finding and appreciating that support system was one of the most important things I could have realized in the recent months. My best advice is to appreciate and value what you have over being miserable about what you do not have. All of us have a reason to be thankful. It turns out that the friends I wanted and the people I needed were in front of me all along. And while most of these relationships are long-distance, I would rather have them far away than not have them at all. Be grateful for the people in your life, and let them know how much you appreciate them. You could be the support system or friend that they are looking for as well.

If this post made you realize how much you appreciate a special person in your life go ahead and leave that in the comments below! Don’t forget to subscribe to our email list if you want to see more posts like this one along with many others!

Twitter: @flcmallory

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